DISGRUNTLED CAT NOISE.

[meriter]

[ This is the third time he's ended up in an unceremonious heap on the ground since he entered the barn. It's an exercise in futility trying to talk sense into Edgar, bane of his existence and conveniently (conveniently) Leo's cat, but Elliot's always had a fatalistic penchant for picking up lost causes, much like never leaving when the leaving is still good. He never commits to anything halfway, and that neurotic insistence is currently screwing him over with the cat sitting calm and complacent in the ceiling's eaves, placidly staring him down while Elliot rants and raves like a madman. ]

I can leave you if I want! I don't have to be here! You can just starve for all I care! It won't affect me at all.

[ If there was any decency in the world, he would've been out in the woodlands today, surveying the region with his steed in stately chivalric fashion, but taking care of Leo's loose baggage begrudgingly took precedence over vacantly kicking the shit.

Ultimately, it comes down to a matter of digression. He'd already lost count of the times Leo refused to spar with him over trivialities like misplaced volumes and that one time he hurled all of their fine china into the nearby river in a fit of rage. Leo never quite forgave him for that, even if they'd made their peace with the transient nature of porcelain against swift torrential streams.

Haughty and prideful as Elliot is, it wouldn't be half as entertaining to tromp around the forest and wave his sword around if Leo went off to sulk in the library for hours on end instead of accompanying him. His vassal was high-maintenance as they came. It only made too much sense that he'd pick up a pet that could curdle Elliot's subtle fondness for felines like some unholy (ironic) curse. Leo had an uncanny knack for ruining everything he'd ever come to love in this world. ]

You're lucky I'm being this considerate. Most of the villagers would've resorted to killing off a beggar like yourself in half the time I've given you. It's only reasonable. You won't even take care of the mice infestation here. It's a disgrace.

[ His point is only further accentuated by the obese rat that goes scurrying by his feet as Elliot rattles the ladder leading up to the hayloft in the hopes of scaring Edgar down.

When his magnanimous efforts are only rewarded with a half-lidded stare and a sibilant miaou, Elliot shelves his initial plan of yelling the cat into submission and begins to scale the ladder up with every intention of dumping it on Leo's mattress and allowing it to tear up the bedsheets. It'd show him for keeping such a stupid animal by his side. Crazy attracts crazy, apparently. ]

This is your last chance. Will you come down from there or not?

[ Precariously balanced on one rung, Elliot can only take the full brunt of injury when the cat ignores his philanthropy and rakes its nails down his outstretched hand. At that point, Elliot abandons his holier-than-thou mentality in lieu of lurching forward and fighting that damned cat in its own territory.

If Leo happens to stumble onto him wrestling Edgar into a loose chokehold partway down the ladder while the repulsive thing scratches his face out, that's just how it goes. Elliot can't be held at fault for throwing apoplectic fits when it's rightly deserved. ]

Comments

IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE OH MY GOD hi this is flips with a different journal

[recorte]

[ honestly though, elliot could have saved himself a lifetime's worth of troubles if he had listened to the very reasonable albeit ignorant and classist advice from his elder siblings against taking leo in. even leo himself would have said the same thing, if he wasn't so fond of elliot. sort of. marginally. but even so, a bad idea is a bad idea, and having leo as a knight's valet is as ill-advised as it gets.

because said valet is standing just beyond the barn's door, watching the whole spectacle and not lifting a finger to help either party. it's more interesting being on the sidelines and watch it all pan out, like everything leo does. it's the same with books, the same with elliot's mighty battle with edgar. it's only after elliot has suffered a few battle wounds that leo finally walks in and easily scoops the cat up in his arms. ]

All right, that's enough. I think we know who the clear winner of this battle is.

[ which is the bundle of fur hissing away in leo's hold, clearly satisfied that he'd put enough scratches on elliot's face. he's not even struggling much, nuzzling into leo's shirt before he starts purring. vengeance for his master's china. ]

Do you need help?

[ says leo smugly, peering down at the elliot-shaped heap on the floor, and extends a hand. ]

S'ALL GOOD, HOMIE, we can be late 2gether ......

[meriter]

[ so this is what insidious betrayal feels like. huh.

elliot is only partially vindicated by the fact that leo remained largely unfazed by the fact he was yelling obscenities at a cat in a barn. with the altercation resolved, elliot can focus on the more pressing matters at hand, like how leo moonlights as a voyeur that has no qualms about owning a malignant spirit in the form of an innocuous cat. one of these days, he'll need to call a priest to exorcise the demonic presence in their midst. there are so many felines out there, but leo just had to choose the one that plausibly murdered people in their sleep.

gaze disaffectedly wrenched up to leo's proffered hand, elliot shrugs, subduing the knee-jerk reflex to give edgar the stink-eye. ]

Ugh. Of course not. One of these days, you need to control that creature, or I'll control it for you.

[ it's only the backlash of leo's vicious temper that's keeping him from hurling edgar in the river without batting an eye. he should be genuflecting for his stupidly feral pet's sake right now, but elliot doesn't give enough of a shit to argue semantics right now.

pulling himself upright, elliot straightens out his disheveled clothing, calmly leading the way out like he wasn't bullying a cat just a few minutes ago. ]

Are you prepared to head out today? I have something to show you.