[ he’s staring resolute, down at the shag carpeting underneath his boots, still feeling the weight of revealing something so intrinsic to himself, the loneliness that in a way… has made him who he is. a loneliness that wasn’t out of choice, really who wants to be alone, ( and that’s why he really needs to stop this, he knows what he’s doing as his gaze flicks to her from the corner of his eyes and he makes a quick study of how her lashes fan over her cheekbones, he’s putting— he’s been putting her on a high pedestal, a shelf waaay out of reach. and it has to be as lonely looking down, as it is looking up, right? he’s never wanted to be lonely, and lady lunafreya, he thinks she doesn’t want to be either. ) but because he didn’t know how to be anything else. she reaches over, places her hand over his, a covering over his knuckles so quickly gone that for a second he fears that he’s imagined it, but even after the contact is gone there’s still the lingering warmth that proves that it wasn’t wishful thinking.
his gaze moves from the floor, to his hand— to her face when she calls him brave of all things. disbelieving. she speaks of noctis sending a photo of them, of him and his mind tries to go through all the photos they’ve taken together, there were so many where noct looked fine but he was pulling faces, and he hopes noct had the grace to send one where they both looked good to lunafreya.
to think, noctis sent one of him at all. it’s a lot, to take in at once. the photo, and. to be accepted, for his loneliness, the burn of his cheeks which he knows must be splotched red. and for a moment after she’s done, he’s silent as if stricken ( he knows the lines of lunafreya’s face by now, she’s been with them long enough. knows them like he knows gladio’s, how the line of jaw tightens incrementally when he’s irritated. how a crease forms between ignis’s brows as he’s contemplating their shopping list, and the hard line of noct’s brow when he’s facing an enemy. and he can tell there’s a small change, in lunafreya’s expression, a lightening almost ), left bereft of words mouth hanging just a tiny bit open before he regains himself. shuts his mouth closed, only to open it again a moment later, and after her eloquence, what he comes up with is… lacking. ] He… Noct really sent you a photo? Of us? [ incredulous still, he doesn’t pause for an affirmative before barreling forward ] Of course he did. He probably picked a bad one too, or one where he looked good and I— [ he shakes his head, minutely. ] That’s not important.
[ this isn’t about the photo— and even though he wants to ask more about it, he still hasn’t said what he’s wanted to this whole time. there’s a long inhale, a gambit so that he time to collect himself before he turns a bit, orienting himself towards her. ] I— yeah. I was… pretty lonely. I thought, well, that I was invisible. [ it’s kind of funny, just a bit, looking back on it now. of course he wasn’t invisible, he remembers kids knocking into his desk during break by accident, how they’d apologize and due to both a lack of courage and deeming his camera safer said nothing in return. ] I know I wasn’t, but that’s what it kinda felt like, until I got your letter. I think… it’s what gave me the [ maybe it was courage. but at the time it felt more like hope strung on faith on lunafreya’s belief that he could be friends with the prince. ] push to even talk to Noct. To talk to anyone, really. I wish I could have wrote you back.
[ maybe he could have. thanked her, then. wrote to her in fumbling terms, he probably isn’t any btter now, how much it meant to him. ] Really, what I’ve wanted to tell you this whole time. It’s probably going to be a bit of a let down, after all this but— Thank you.
[ his voice cracks on the last bit, with emotion. earnest. he hopes his thank you means something, in all of those that she’s already received. ]
no subject
his gaze moves from the floor, to his hand— to her face when she calls him brave of all things. disbelieving. she speaks of noctis sending a photo of them, of him and his mind tries to go through all the photos they’ve taken together, there were so many where noct looked fine but he was pulling faces, and he hopes noct had the grace to send one where they both looked good to lunafreya.
to think, noctis sent one of him at all. it’s a lot, to take in at once. the photo, and. to be accepted, for his loneliness, the burn of his cheeks which he knows must be splotched red. and for a moment after she’s done, he’s silent as if stricken ( he knows the lines of lunafreya’s face by now, she’s been with them long enough. knows them like he knows gladio’s, how the line of jaw tightens incrementally when he’s irritated. how a crease forms between ignis’s brows as he’s contemplating their shopping list, and the hard line of noct’s brow when he’s facing an enemy. and he can tell there’s a small change, in lunafreya’s expression, a lightening almost ), left bereft of words mouth hanging just a tiny bit open before he regains himself. shuts his mouth closed, only to open it again a moment later, and after her eloquence, what he comes up with is… lacking. ] He… Noct really sent you a photo? Of us? [ incredulous still, he doesn’t pause for an affirmative before barreling forward ] Of course he did. He probably picked a bad one too, or one where he looked good and I— [ he shakes his head, minutely. ] That’s not important.
[ this isn’t about the photo— and even though he wants to ask more about it, he still hasn’t said what he’s wanted to this whole time. there’s a long inhale, a gambit so that he time to collect himself before he turns a bit, orienting himself towards her. ] I— yeah. I was… pretty lonely. I thought, well, that I was invisible. [ it’s kind of funny, just a bit, looking back on it now. of course he wasn’t invisible, he remembers kids knocking into his desk during break by accident, how they’d apologize and due to both a lack of courage and deeming his camera safer said nothing in return. ] I know I wasn’t, but that’s what it kinda felt like, until I got your letter. I think… it’s what gave me the [ maybe it was courage. but at the time it felt more like hope strung on faith on lunafreya’s belief that he could be friends with the prince. ] push to even talk to Noct. To talk to anyone, really. I wish I could have wrote you back.
[ maybe he could have. thanked her, then. wrote to her in fumbling terms, he probably isn’t any btter now, how much it meant to him. ] Really, what I’ve wanted to tell you this whole time. It’s probably going to be a bit of a let down, after all this but— Thank you.
[ his voice cracks on the last bit, with emotion. earnest. he hopes his thank you means something, in all of those that she’s already received. ]